Echoes of Meditation School Graduate
Graduate of the 4
th
crop Ma Sangit attended Meditation School in 2003-2006.
Here we present excerpts from her Meditation School graduation paper
During the first months of Meditation School (MS)
I experienced huge inner joy that I finally found meditation as a way to change essentially myself and my life, and relaxation that I will no longer have to flounce from one spiritual teaching to another. (About Ma Sangit journey to Meditation center you may read in a publication
Insane Children of Catholics want to meditate
(2003.06.18) and her
Open letter
(2003.08.14)).
During the first MS year of studies
I saw that the biggest cause of all my inner problems is first of all psychological dependence and hooking together with mother. I started to liberate myself, looked within and came across those inner refreshing threads which I felt in childhood and which I ignored because they didn’t match plans, ideas, wishes and imaginations of my mother.
The second bondage which I noticed during MS and liberated myself from was Catholic church which provided me with spiritual well being. During MS I understood its very crippling influence and even now I don’t understand how I could entire almost thirteen years practice Catholicism and don’t see that. During MS I saw how deeply within me I accepted models of self-derogation, humiliation, contraction, forced obedience to parents and resignation. Also, that responsibility for my spiritual well being and unfolding I trusted blindly to Catholic church.
Already
in the second year of MS, I saw and sensed
that vital energy doesn’t flow through hands – hands are numb, hand joints are “swollen”, inflexible, often get cold. In the second course of MS during 21-day spring cycle of dynamic meditation, I sensed how hands revive, as if unfreeze. Then this way a process of hands revival started and still continues. I like to sense when during “stop” phase of dynamic, energy in hands flows very lively, hands, hand fingers revive, I feel inner micro-vibes in a physical body.
Recently during “stop” phase, I started to feel very relaxing flow of energy in legs – very pleasant, subtle vibration in blood vessels. As intuition tells, that will probably be an answer to varicose veins problem.
MS practices devoted to studies of emotional body changed that in life I started feeling emotions more intensively and applying their transformation. If before MS the problem in life was how to come to vital energy –
I couldn’t experience much joy, I couldn’t reach anger, after graduating MS I have to be attentive in life to apply transformed negative emotions and when grasping fear within go into it.
<…>
During the fourth MS year, I became more aware and could clearly see within me an astral body as collection of thoughts, ideas, plans, inventions and their unconscious support, attachment to them.
During MS I not only found and started to use in life the guides of energy flow, but also I saw that in each case I am free and I choose – whether to search for energy, whether to approach it and after finding it whether to go with it or with thinking.
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