Medicine and Meditation transform Illness to Health,
Suffering to Happiness | |
I want to share my experience having been invited to and willing to encourage those who faced or could face such a huge health problem as mine. On the other hand, life and meditation show that irrespective of the complexity of life situations, answers are always there if steps are made from within.
With health and love wishes, Shaida (Ingrida Ivance).
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| Moment of meditation | |
Until I was 23, until I started to meditate, I used to feel depressed, dull, always lacking something deep inside, nothing really touched me and I used to feel some kind of insatiable inner hunger. It seemed to me that I did not live and life was passing by. I have been meditating since 1994. Having found meditation, first I was satiating with a refreshing energy coming from inside, heart and inner sight were opening, the perception of life and its quality were changing fundamentally: I started to understand much deeper what was happening with me and around me, I became much more responsible for my life and much more free at the same time, and finally, I relaxed like the one who searches his/her way for a long time and finally finds it.
Eventually, I started to feel that I live and life touches me deeper and deeper and it is becoming much more interesting to live. I can feel now that it is vitally important not to lose our own inner refreshing source, which meditation leads to and opens up. When I started to meditate, not only had I become much more sensitive but much more centered as well. I started distinguishing real things from the secondary one and I began applying meditative understanding in my live and work. The meditation path inspires me truly.
Due to meditation, I felt very well in my physical body as well: it has become very lively, vibrating with energy, it is soft, conductive, ailing from cold, inflectional diseases much more rarely than before I started to meditate. This has had a positive influence on the quality of my work. Sometimes, however, the path is very mountainous…
Before starting to meditate, when I was 21 and studied at Kaunas University of Medicine, doctors accidentally found symptoms indicating that I might eventually suffer from a severe kidney illness. I did not get any instructions then as for what I should do but this news settled somewhere inside me. They just mentioned that all I could do is to reduce protein in my diet, i.e. eat less meat. I stopped eating meat when I was 21 also because it was in accord with my inner understanding of humanity. I did not feel any malaise in my physical body till the year of 2005.
On the other hand, when I was at Osho international meditation resort in Pune, India, in 1998 a
Kirlian
photo was taken of my hand. Kirlian photographs of living creatures reflect health and germs of illnesses which lie behind the physical, in vital and deeper bodies, which could come through in a physical body after some time. For instance, a
Kirlian
photograph of a flower shows how it will look like when it blossoms since it partly has a flower structure. Alike a seed tells us a lot about a plant or a genome of a seed tells us much about its features.
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| Kirlian
photograph of an unfolded flower* | |
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| Photograph of a flower | |
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In Pune, a
Kirlian
photography specialist informed me that “there is a sign of a kidney disease and it is related with my mother”. Nothing else was said. I am not the person who easily believes something without experiencing it or examinig insights about something from different perspectives. I just had it in mind.
In 2005, seven years after the insights according to a Kirlian photograph, my legs started to swell from time to time but I related it with the lack of movement, a sedentary job, etc. Over the next two years I used to fly by plane a lot and noticed that following a long flight my legs swelled so much that I could not put my shoes on, while I also had severe headaches which were hardly bearable. Moreover, I used to have nausea and my body used to itch every day. I did not hurry to go and see doctors since I meditated.
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| Trial of diets | | It was only in autumn in 2007 that I went to see a doctor and they diagnosed a very high blood pressure due to a chronic kidney failure. Blood was contaminated by metabolism products and that was the reason why I had nausea and itching. I decided not to give up so easily and did all so that I could recover without medicine or at least I could know that I did all what was possible to recover from inside.
During the next three years I tried all the possible diets and body cleaning using non-conventional methods, including diets and body cleaning methods recommended by J.Tulchina, a natural medicine doctor; Jorg Krebber, a pundit of Tibetan medicine and Ayurveda of Munich, Germany; and Vaishtarienë, a vegetarian. They were sometimes contradictory. I did not eat bread products, eggs, potatoes, milk products, etc. I was starving 25 days with breaks during the course of three months. I can say that the change of nutrition stopped the illness progress for a while, at least this was what the blood analysis showed. However, despite the diet, impairment came again. During three years until 2010, the functioning of kidneys deteriorated so much that dialysis - blood cleaning needed to be done. Doctors advised that I should not postpone this due to an increasing body contamination and have a kidney transplanted once there is a donor.
My life was flowing perfectly for many years. I became much more independent, established my own business, was not attaching to others and parents due to meditations. And now I was slowly losing my life because of the illness. The health was deteriorating and I was lacking energy. The search for love and meditation also contributed. Both independence and openness and closeness with people and parents were increasing, especially with my mother perhaps.
I was investigating all the possibilities and had thoughts about transplantation. I shared this news with my parents in the early winter of 2010 and, to my great surprise, they both said: “Don’t worry; we are ready to give you a kidney each”. They were both willing to give me a kidney even though my body needed just one kidney. I was surprised by such a “sacrifice” of my parents, although I have always felt in my heart that my parents love me a lot. In fact, both have always had confidence in me and supported me, and the love has been mutual.
The doctors of one hospital informed me that kidneys of my parents would not suit due to a big age difference (both parents are over 60 years old) and not corresponding blood types, while I would have to wait for a donor’s kidney for several years. Nevertheless, I decided to go for a consultation at nephrologists from Vilnius Santarishkiu clinics and they cheered me up by saying that my parents’ age is not an obstacle, whereas non-corresponding blood types, in fact, do not prevent from kidneys to be transplanted, however, it involves additional necessary procedures.
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| Meditating with Prembuddha | | I was neither hastening nor postponing anything. I was doing everything what was possible and meditated every day, listened to my inside and life. And I worked because I like my job. I do teeth direct aesthetic restorations – I join life with beauty. To my surprise, my health allowed me to work more than doctors had foreseen. At the beginning, I believed too much that I would not be able to work and almost followed the doctors but meditation master Prembuddha drew my attention to the fact that it is better to listen to my inside and explore how much I can work through meditation and relaxation. I was listening to everything more attentively than earlier and I was sensing everything more strongly, whereas the need for transplantation was increasing and its time maturing. The possibility of one of my parents becoming a kidney donor was becoming more apparent, even though such an operation with non-corresponding blood types in Lithuania would have to be done for the first time.
Before one of my parents could become a kidney donor, they had to have immunological analysis done to determine which parents’ kidney would be best for me.
When meditating, knowing, I was looking at the kidney transplantation procedure and was looking not for something sudden and “useful” but for a solution corresponding with my inside and existence, with my body and soul. Something free, right and deriving from my inside. I was advising with meditation master and my teacher Prembuddha because he is as a mirror reflecting what is happening deep inside me. Medicine was connecting with meditation. I was surprised by the latest advanced medicine possibilities and the ability of a deep meditator to reflect inner possibilities so that they could be seen much more clearly. Miracle was unfolding. Meditation was connecting karma – destiny with love. New convolutions and paths were appearing.
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| My beloved and loving parents | |
Looking inwards, I did not feel that I could be related with my father’s kidney. I saw deeply and felt undoubtedly that the most suitable was my mother’s kidney. Speaking in a meditator’s terms, I felt that deeply healing energy flows between me and my mother’s kidney, it supports the transplantation of my mother’s kidney.
Before the doctors told me which parent’s kidney is best for me, I had felt inside that it would be my mother’s. The doctors’ answer that my mother’s kidney suits me better, since five out of six important transplantation features correspond, just confirmed my feeling.
That flow of energy or closeness between me and my mother was as if a bridge connecting both of us. My mother also felt that flow of energy. Long before transplantation and the doctors’ answer, my mother told me:
“I woke up one night and understood that I must give you my kidney”.
I felt my mother’s unconditional devotion and following that inside knowledge.
On my way for transplantation, my elder brother, willing to check, asked if he should give me his kidney, even though he perhaps did not feel this deep inside. I could only confirm to him that “yes, energy does not flow at all”. So, I could say that when energy flows, it could be felt between both sides. Both sides just need to be centered and sensitive enough.
When meditating, I was looking at where my illness derived from and what should be its treatment. All the aforementioned doctors of the natural medicine named my illness as a result of an incorrect nutrition. According to the doctors, it is an autoimmune disease when an organism refuses its own part. I have read in books that kidneys are related to fears. However, when I looked around, I noticed that I am far braver than many healthy people and for this reason that answer did not appeal to me. My feeling was that I had brought this illness from the past.
I read once a book “From Medication to Meditation” by mystic Osho who said:
“For thousands of years so many societies in this world could not form a connection between physical intercourse and childbirth because the time difference was big—nine months. It was difficult for them to relate such a distant cause and effect. And then not all intercourse leads to childbirth, so obviously there was no reason for thinking in terms of connecting the two. It was much later that man understood that what had occurred nine months back is resulting in a childbirth today. He could form a cause and effect relationship. The same happens to us regarding illness. We invite it sometime, but it will come later on. Much time passes between the two events, and that is the reason we are unable to see any connection between the two”.
My intuition says that the reason for my illness lies in the past, whereas the result has affected me in this life.
Anyway, I had to consider what needs to be done next because my and my mother’s blood types did not correspond and the doctors said that they had never done any such transplantations in Lithuania when blood types were not corresponding. They, however, had internships in the West and could do such a transplantation if I wished so. I was meditating and looking for an answer inside. I could have the procedure done abroad, I could have waited for a donor with a corresponding blood type in Lithuania, but I could agree on a risky transplantation which would be the first of this kind in Lithuania. I was investigating the flow of a healing energy. The confidence in the Lithuanian doctors was growing. As if the right people and doctors were on my way.
Transplantation is a deep phenomenon. The fact that a sprout of a tree can start growing does not mean that it will definitely grow. Each of us has to do our best so that it could start growing and only then relax, leave it in the hands of the existence. In preparation for the surgery, I did not turn to the saints, did not pray since requesting would have been inhumane.
You can hear anything in hospitals. I heard a woman, who had to have her kidney transplanted, begging her brother to give her a kidney and he finally could not withstand and agreed. The body, however, soon rejected the transplanted kidney. My insight was whispering that transplantation should not take place unless there is a mutual feeling that a donor has to give a kidney and a recipient accepts it, otherwise another solution should be searched for, one must change, transform within and wait for an answer. Transplantation is as if a germination of a root towards water, as if the growth of a branch towards the Sun. It is the synchronism and unity of the inside and the outside, the body and the soul.
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| With my mother on the eve of transplantation | |
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| Enjoying with my mother already several months after the transplantation | |
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Both parents supported me all the time. My mother shares: “
Having found out about Ingrida’s health problems, I got really upset and started to get interested in what should be done. I haven’t found anything satisfying except for a transplantation of a healthy kidney. Then I learned how this should be done and how I can be of help.
Literature states that you can proceed to be examined only if blood types correspond in the first place. Unfortunately, Ingrida’s blood type is exceptional in our family. I was investigating further on and it appears that my blood has A and B antigens, whereas the father’s blood has B antigens and Ingrida’s got only A antigens. But despite this news, I was deeply convinced that I was going to give her my kidney.
When the doctors decided to check me and Ingrida’s father, and, following the analysis in the hospital they said that my kidneys fit better, I wasn’t really surprised because it had to be so. I was convinced that everything would be OK and I communicated this to all the doctors. I still think that Ingrida’s illness is the past and we will be healthy”.
The kidney was transplanted. This transplantation was the first of its kind in Lithuania. The doctors and assisting personnel from the Santarishkiu clinics put much effort in a complicated treatment process.
Sometimes it seemed that I would give up. And I let it go. One situation was changing the other one. During five weeks of my stay in hospital, I had three surgeries done. When I failed and let everything go, love and meditation was with me. This was as much as I grew up. I wanted more. I was growing up during the treatment as well. Now I feel much more mature and healthy. I feel healthy. I can’t believe that my body does not hurt and it functions well. This is the greatest temple. I am really grateful to my mother and my father, doctors, friends for helping me reconstruct this temple, to be more precise, they contributed to my wellness. I wish all of them much happiness, luck and certainly health. I wish them wellbeing and love.
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| Meditation master Prembuddha | |
I rejoice today and I am really satisfied that I had decided to have my kidney transplanted in Lithuania based on feeling a deep flow of a healing energy between me and the team of doctors and trusting my sensing. I feel that this was the right way.
Meditation master Prembuddha was with me during the entire journey through transplantation and especially in the most critical moments.
He shares:
“Today new summits of possibilities open for a man. They did not exist in the past. These are new summits of evolution of the body and awakened consciousness. Some make use of them; others do not see them and even repel them because of their ignorance or ego. It would be an inadmissible or even painful mistake not to make use of medicine and meditation which are freed from superstitions, dogmas and beliefs. It would be a useless suffering or even perhaps a premature death.
In this case, the most important was an advanced contemporary medicine, meditation as well as the ability to use their fruit, ability to join the inside with the outside, the body with the soul, and the knowledge with life. You learned to feel healing energies and the river of love and were able to swim through it. And now you rejoice over its fruit. You can now turn back, wander the sidewalks and marshes as it is done by many people, or, you can meditate and keep on climbing sensitively the new nameless summits of luck, freedom and love”.
I feel healthy now, grown up and more conscious through the illness and I understand that you can’t explain the existence using the mind and thoughts. The secret of life is simple – unconditional love. It is true for each organ, the whole body, the whole existence. We can sense truth, our way and steps in existence with our heart and foresee them in meditation, and then, relax and blossom in that truth.
18.02.2011, Ojas
Photo sources:
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http://www.synergyproduction.com/pages/sprout-powders.html
Other photos: from personal and meditation centre Ojas archive
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